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profile At twenty and one-point-six-three/four/two (can't remember) tall, I am a girl who loves many things, and detests a few. Not very fond of setting out a whole list of 'about me's, so... just read on. :) tag archives May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009 friends and credits skin by: Jane |
Thursday, May 28, 2009 @ 9:17 AM
cool piece of poetry if I get to the base of things, of desire, all I really want to do is sing, and run. to sing well and loud, to run tirelessly, to be thoroughly exhausted with good work done. this is what I want. to know who God is, and how he works, and what his hands and eyes look like, and fire. - Rapture Red & Smoke Grey, Sarah Gordon Sunday, May 24, 2009 @ 11:11 AM
plans Now that work at AGC's over I finally have the liberty to take things slower, and organise. Stacks of paper are to my left, books leftover from everywhere are arranged kinda haphazardly in an overloaded cupboard, and I need to find out where the random ants are coming from. Eeks. It's almost halfway into 2009. There are unfinished goals, new goals, and goals I've thankful to have met, albeit only barely. I'm flipping to the goalsheet we as a church were encouraged to fill at the beginning of the year, and as I scan through what I wrote there is a sense of dissatisfaction... like there's more I could do. While I leave that to personal reflection there are a couple of things bugging me at present, one of them being whether I should apply for exchange in the first half of next year. And if I want to, where I should go. The past hour I have spent scrolling through universities, courses offered, and what not - now there are 2 universities I'm looking at: Southampton (UK), and Yonsei (South Korea). They're vastly different in location and courses offered, but I would be very happy if my application for either goes through. The former, because of the potential extensive travelling I get to do and the individual modules offered; the latter, for economic reasons and the opportunity to experience a completely different legal system, it being a civil law country. Coincidentally I've had the opportunity to speak to people who have personally studied in both universities before, and they share with such nostalgia and excitement that I got a bit infected too. But I'm aware of the costs involved. Not just money but the fact that I would be away for so long... the uncertainty is something to be grappled with. The draw of living independently in another country is so attractive nonetheless - of late, many have told me that it is beneficial to get out of this little red dot and live elsewhere for awhile, because we tend to be too sheltered here. Hmmmmm. I will apply, and see which doors open. Thinking about exchange makes my heart beat a little faster. :) Wednesday, May 20, 2009 @ 12:37 AM
I believe ...that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God. - 1 Cor 2:5 Many times in recent weeks I've found myself unconsciously drifting away from the reality of God. Surrounded by rational and logical arguments, sharp words and eloquence in the workplace, I was and sometimes still am threatened by the faint possibility that the bedrock of my life might not stand, in light of seemingly attractive theories and philosophies. But at a leaders' meeting earlier in church at JW, my heart once again succumbed to His presence... it was difficult when the meeting just started, but as we went along praying, praising and worshipping, the disbelief seeped away, bit by bit. I was reminded of the various moments in my life where God was so close; the little miracles He provided to help me get through tough times in school; the relationships He's taught me to nurture - and so many more I cannot count. Those were moments where no level of IQ could have enabled... only Jesus could, and He can... and He will. Sunday, May 17, 2009 @ 11:24 PM
laughter and dad's words of wisdom At dinner with the cell, Rouxin unravelled her collection of jokes from who knows where - I think there were about 10 of them, her memory is amazing - and whenever the answer was revealed I was mostly the one laughing, sometimes to the extent of having tears brim at the corner of my eyes while the others seem to only be able to muster a grin. Easily tickled? Honestly I don't remember being like that when I was younger. Granted, my family - nana inclusive - back then was generally happy, but we weren't the type of family whose daddy was a joker, the kids laughing away etc... If anything, I think it was the friends I hung around with since young who made me see the power of laughter. It really is the best medicine, for anything. Now if I can only remember all the jokes said at that table, I could prolly cure some illnesses out there! * * * This week marks the last week of the internship. No buckets of tears or anything of that sort, but it being my first working experience (minus tuition and ad hoc employment), I'm grateful for the numerous 'bosses' who inspired me even without trying. The law in their eyes covers more than their paychecks; it surrounds the lives of real people whose real and sometimes pressing interests are placed on their shoulders. To see them carrying this responsibility with such dedication - that encourages me. There's much more to learn! I wonder if this excitement I'm feeling qualifies as passion. If it does, then I'm counting my lucky stars to have found work that I believe in, and truly enjoy. Whether I emerge as the head and not the tail of the market is still a question mark; maybe what Dad said earlier will help: *clears throat, puts on his lao hua glasses* "Okay ah... everybody listen to me, let me tell you about three ways to achieve success ah." His index finger was lifted up, looking somewhat like he was starting a 10,000 word exposition on the possibility of curing H1N1 - "The first! Okay, the first one ah, is gut. GUT." "The second, is - " This was where he paused for the longest time. My dinner spoon was lifted halfway to my mouth, eyes peering out of my spectacles looking at him in expectation. "The second, is... is.. yes it is EQ. " "Then ah, the third one is IQ!! Eyyeee queeee." "So ah, don't think that if you are smart are, you will be successful okay. you must know how to take risk! trust your gut!" I nodded alongside Mum and continued with dinner, and just while I was about to have whatever Dad said come out of the other ear, I had a sudden impression that he was wise, wiser than I thought. Trusting one's gut feeling, or the Holy Spirit as I see it, takes faith. Relating to people - that's EQ. And the necessary knowledge and understanding - IQ. The first always needs working on. Risk taking intimidates me. But His grace suffices, to remind me that wherever I go, I can always fall back into His arms. I'm impressed Dad could come up with something like that. After doing something that irritated me immensely not too long ago, I suppose I've unconsciously erased the ability to receive what he says on a usual basis seriously. Perhaps this is a reminder, that I should. Monday, May 11, 2009 @ 10:40 PM
work at the chambers It struck me while I was on the rickety bus travelling on the jammed expressway (what's new...), that I might be 'sold' to the public service. Impressionable as I might seem, I have valid reasons to think so: 1. Work-life balance seems possible. 2. The people at AGC love what they do. 3. There's a sense of service in this place - I don't know how else to put it. We've been told, that the sense of satisfaction derived out work in the govt legal service is quite different from that in the private sector. Considering the countless 'men on the street' that govt lawyers usually represent, it's not hard to understand why. This being the 3rd week of the internship, it also feels as if the bubble I've been living in (consisting of hypotheticals, principles, academic journals and the like) is deflating, bit by bit. Maybe I should have realised it before, that whatever I'm studying actually impacts real people and real lives. Being an intern helped me to see that, and I'm beginning to see learning in a different light... And who knows? I might be a prosecutor sometime down the road... hard to imagine given my reputation of being a 'nice' person, but I don't know, this might just be what He has in store for me. I shall find out soon enough. :) Monday, May 04, 2009 @ 9:19 PM
not complaining It's supposed to be summer. A friend sent an sms to remind me, 'it's summer, live for the minute!' and my instinctive reaction was, I don't think that can apply to me this week. :( A few reasons - internship at the AGC is proving to be more tiring than I thought, with back to back activities planned for the bunch of us in the programme. Miraculously, I got through to the semis in a mooting competition held by the school, and now have to slog for submissions due this friday. I really, really should be starting on them right now. There's much inertia. Rest lah, rest... I can hear that lazybone part of me urging. This feels all too familiar, as if I'm going through deadline after deadline in week 12/13 (nooooo...), less the added stress of a GPA to keep. But, but... There is a silver lining. I learn as I intern. About the law and how it works for the man on the street; about working for the gahmen and its perks - between signing in at 0830 and signing out at 1830, so much goes on that I try hard not to lose track of what I've gained from the work we were asked to do. The moot also means an opportunity to improve on skills I'll need desperately when I eventually practice in the future - speaking, persuading, arguing etc - and these, I admit, are not skills I'm entirely comfortable with... That aside, I've realised too, that it's an honest struggle to stay strong spiritually when one is working in the marketplace. Much depends on self-discipline; brokenness counts. And that's the hardest to do, because remaining yielded to Him when success heaps upon you just seems counter-intuitive. But I resolve to try... 16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. - Psalms 51 After all... God is the reason why I have the privilege to be doing what I'm doing in the first place. Sunday, May 03, 2009 @ 12:24 PM
blogger's block I stare at the screen, and try to type something - but I can't. zzz. One of those moments where I wonder where I got my language ability from when it feels as if all has gone out of the window. haha. |