Amputee Li Yiaoyao, 5, laughs as she plays with her dolls at the Sichuan Limbs Maim Restoration Centre in Chengdu, Sichuan in China, July 22, 2008. (Shiho Fukada for The New York Times)

There's so much to do before I graduate from Bible school! 3 exams this week, up to 50 plus hours of audio lessons to listen to, another exam and rehearsals for the graduation ceremony - not to mention the lessons are getting deeper, i.e. what is the plan of God? Calvinism v Armenianism and all the -isms you can imagine and so on and so forth. 

Next week, we're having daily morning prayer meetings at 7am too. It's been a long time since I needed to catch the earliest 180 from Bukit Panjang interchange, time to do it again... haha *sheepish*

The last week of SOT (Bible school's also the School of Theology, I've been using the two interchangeably fyi!) overlaps with the new school term in SMU. When I think about that week, my heart accelerates and I wonder if it is from intimidation or adrenaline. I think it is both.

But in the midst of all that busyness, there is a peace in my heart... I know it is from God, because only He can make me feel this way. It's a peace that literally, surpasses all understanding - as if on a busy highway there is an old, old lady walking across very purposefully, and all the cars don't run into her somehow. 

That seems like an image out of the Matrix, like the old lady has the help of some supernatural, invisible power that allows her to whoosh her way through the incoming cars. 

Eh! Sounds like how it's like when we walk with Jesus. ;)

Would you still sit in front of the computer all day, shooting fake virtual bullets through mechanical men? Would you still pore through online shop after online shop for the best bargains? Would you still laze on your bed for another hour after you've woken up?

Would you do all that you're doing now?

I know that I wouldn't sit where I'm sitting now, typing this entry. 

See the funny thing is, we young people seem to be living in a state of imaginary immortality, as if our lives would last forever, and it doesn't really matter what we do with our time, since well, we have so much time anyway.

But that can't be further from the truth. How much time we have here is not within our control.

And we know that, deep inside. So what's stopping us from carpe diem-ing, seizing the moment? What's stopping us from seeking our very purpose here on this earth? 

Conformity, societal pressure, relationship problems, you name it, every reason can come up. But I get this nagging feeling that these are really the secondary reasons. Because we are responsible for our decisions - if we decide to eat, we eat. If we decide to put on make up today, we put it on. If we decide to chase after a dream, we do it. If we decide to seek our purpose, we seek it. Nothing can stop us, except ourselves.

There must be something more to this life. More than all that we're doing now. We were created for more than computer games, online shopping and snoring. 

* * *

To rapache and csschoir: I have been thinking of you (though it is not obvious, I know that I have been MIA-ing, I'm sorry) and struggling to find a date for us to meet as SOT nears the end and the amount of work has tripled. :( The red alert sign has been flashing in my head to meet you again, but I never got around to reaching out and switching the light off. Please know that you are not forgotten!!