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At twenty and one-point-six-three/four/two (can't remember) tall, I am a girl who loves many things, and detests a few. Not very fond of setting out a whole list of 'about me's, so... just read on. :)


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skin by: Jane
Thursday, April 24, 2008 @ 5:46 PM
amazing.

Bible school is amazing. I've been saying this to everyone who asked me how it's like, and I think it's time to refresh my vocab haha.

This week, we learnt about the Tabernacle - the place where the people before Jesus's time went to worship God. 
In it there were seven pieces of furniture, and every single one is so rich in
symbolisms that I feel like I'm taking Literature all over again. Except these symbolisms are actually applicable to real life. How cool is that?! Learning about these shows me how powerfully wise and purposeful God is, 
and I'm just kind of living in awe these couple of days!

Besides the jaw-dropping information that I'm receiving and digesting every morning from 845am to 1pm, there's also the daily praise and worship that starts off every class. And you know how much i love praise and worship! So to do it every morning is like a dream come true. :)

I used to think that the often-talked about 'God's presence' was merely a human construct. Whenever Pastor Kong comes up to the stage and says, 'His presence is 
all over this place... ', I'd frown a little, thinking that emotional and psychological experiences like that could deceive us into thinking God was really there.

On hindsight, my attempt to separate my emotions with His presence was unnecessary. He created us emotional beings, and so if we can cry and laugh in our 
relationships with people, why can't we do that in our relationship with the Creator? One of the greatest things I took back from the lessons that I've had was that God was more than a principle or a concept... He is a person, a living being. My best friend, my heavenly Father, the one who knows exactly the number of tears I cried, rejoices along with me when good things happen, and guides me in every area of my life.

Because of Bible school, I'm becoming more aware of the sheer depth of His love for me. And I think that's the most amazing thing. Praise God. :)



Thursday, April 17, 2008 @ 12:16 PM
and my exams are over. almost!

So, this is how first year in university is like. Wow. 

I thank God, from the bottom of my heart. To have been put in a course that I really wanted and might not have deserved, and meet friends whom I know will be there for me, and me for them, for eternity (literally! haha). I look back, and His plan weaved into place perfectly. And it is still weaving. :)

True, there were times during the term I felt so tired and super ready to just chill and not do work - but the times I felt a deep sense of satisfaction from
my work really makes up for it. Well I do wish I could be smarter, and think deeper, and be more inquisitive, and talk like
Davinder Singh... ;) Not satisfied, but content.

Now what does that mean? How can I be unsatisfied but content at the same time?

Beats me, but when I typed that it felt right.

Last paper this sat! It's one called Business, Govt and the Society, but it's a lot less heavier than the law papers, both on the mind and in terms of weightage, so pheew. Contract and tort were difficult, but what's done is done and I'm just trusting God for the results. Good or bad, I'm reminding myself that He is in control. So what goes through my mind is:

SUMMER IS NEAR!

I am over-the-moon excited!!! 



Thursday, April 10, 2008 @ 5:40 PM
receiving grace

I took a step of faith this week, to go for Bible School every morning even though the exams are happening next week. And what I got in return was beyond my greatest expectations. What I have learnt and experienced in my heart and soul is so amazing; even
as I type these now I frown... because the words alone are wholly inadequate in expressing the awe and the wonder and the joy that fills me up every single day as I attend class in church every morning. 

One of the many poignant lessons I took back the past three days was that God is a gracious God. Imagine a person giving you a gift. But your hands are placed behind your back and you don't take that gift. So the gift remains with the person. No matter how much eye power you give it, the gift will never belong to you; you will never get the chance to open it and see the treasures hidden in it, because you didn't exercise the choice to receive it from the giver.

God is like the giver, and us, the receiver. Many times we ask for an experience from God, a supernatural experience so that we can believe. But we lay there expecting God to do all the work. Our hands refuse to receive. God, being a gracious God, will never force Himself upon us. So He puts the gift there. He
did His part. He is always doing His part. 

And sometimes all we need to do is receive. :)

I am so happy! I'm reminded of a poem I once wrote and posted on this blog a long time ago:

Because He first loved me.

the path was blurry
lined with half-baked theories
my heart
dwelled in creaky altars
a bright countenance
for dimmer reasons

then You came
knocking at the door
will you let Me in?
i wondered
were You real?

many worship
hands lifted
tears running down
will you let Me in?
trembling
my mind resisting
a gentle voice resounds
I love you, My child.

will you love Me too?

the door opens

and like a dove
You flew into the room
joy.
joy.
joy!

the path is clear
lined with Your truth
my heart
dwells in the altar of glory
and finally
i am filled.

thank You.

Boy am I glad I signed up for Bible school. :)