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profile Walking by faith is something easy to say, but hard to do especially when things don't go as planned. But we try all the same, and I'm no exception. This blog is in some ways cathartic, in others a means for me to pen my thoughts and struggles as I walk this life and learn to trust God more with each passing day. tag archives May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 friends and credits skin by: Jane |
Wednesday, November 29, 2006 @ 3:00 PM
beauty I think I'm becoming vainer. Is there such a word, vainer? Anyhow, I feel more affection for the things that make a woman more womanly now, than ever before. It's an oddly ambivalent feeling for me. Years ago, if you asked me to wear heels, I'll give you the don't-kid-me stare and continue searching for flat sandals or canvas shoes when I go shopping. Years ago, if you asked me to put on make-up, I'll glower at you and scoff at the thought, because it seemed, then, an act of vanity which was a mere waste of time. Now, the reactions will be quite, quite different. I've taken to heels, even pretty high ones, and I think I'm en route to becoming my own makeup artist. Maybe it's the glamour magazines, maybe it's the telly, maybe it's the people I see, maybe it's the hormones, or maybe I'm on my way to - this sounds really weird - womanhood. Why ambivalent, then? Part of me can't shake off the feeling that I have this hidden ego which craves after attention and therefore ardently seeks to upgrade the way I carry myself, or even the way I look. Is it vanity, or simply something that every woman must do when she steps out into a world crowded with people who have impressions formed the very moment their eyes are set on you? Or is it the case of look good, feel good? When people tell me I look good, I am flattered, but I am embarrassed, too. Embarrassed of that hidden ego, because I want to be good on the inside more than on the outside - something I am still working on, and will possible be working on my entire life. I wish I were less harsh in my judgements, more giving, more virtuous. And as I move towards 'womanhood' these days I become more conscious of the inside... constantly reminding myself not to lose virtues I've picked up even as I pay more attention to the way I look. In the Bible, Esther is a beautiful woman both on the outside and the inside. Who cares about Britney Spears, Song Hae-gyo and Fiona Xie? Esther's the woman I admire and aim to be like, somewhere in the future. Monday, November 27, 2006 @ 8:57 AM
a walking paradox I got my first job at the Creative Warehouse Sale, and for the past four days, I think my legs have become more slender and my voice more sugary. It's a good thing, since prom's this Sunday.haha! It was a good experience, despite the strain on my legs. The bosses were really nice (how often do you get them asking you four times in a day if you're tired, and if you are you should go and rest?!), and my fellow workers were fun to be with. So each day passed and at the end of the day we gathered and talked about the customers we came across. Here's some who made it to the 'top ten weird customers' of the sale: Customer A *looking a bit blur, but sees kangwei and instantly brightens up* : Erm... hello hello! Kangwei *smiles sweetly* : Yes? Customer A: I want something.... but I don't know what is it! -_- Me: Hi, looking for any mp3 players? *gestures to the shelf full of Creative mp3 players* Customer B: Mine is Apple. -_- Then there were groups who were so interested in the webcams they meddled with it till the entire system shut down; those who went to the Xmod (this product which enhances sound) counter and after explaining everything about the Xmod to them, they asked how much were speakers placed on the counter (ultimate bathos!); and those who arrived in the place looking like they just woke up without brushing their teeth, and those who really didn't brush their teeth. But thankfully few were really difficult, so all of us still managed okay. I used to think I was quite patient, but after the job I realised I still have a long way to go to develop that virtue. One asked so many questions my face changed from a smile to a frown. I admire sales people who can keep their smiles on the entire time! The last day was tiring as usual, but I couldn't help but miss the job a little. And my 'feelings' for Creative have changed! It's a good company, because the welfare of the workers are really taken care of (lunch, tea break and dinner provided - amazing.) and the people and the products are cool. I can't help but have a desire for the Vision: W. Stop me! So I call myself a walking paradox, because each morning when I travel to jurong to work I wear the Creative tee, and listen to music on the ipod. Both brands don't like each other, but I like both brands now. =D What's up from today, then? I guess it's shopping for prom, catching up on the piano and just doing all that I want to do ever since forever! This is so exciting.yabadabadoooo! Wednesday, November 22, 2006 @ 10:06 PM
release. I think the title says it all. The weight within is finally lifted, and words can't really describe fully how I feel right now. A mix of relief, maybe a tinge of regret, a lot of thankfulness, some sense of fulfilment and achievement, anticipation, excitement, and the list goes on and on and on. I have completed my A levels. I have completed my A levels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I were to repeat that the level of high-ness will increase and I won't be able to stay still on the chair. Two years flew by just like that.*snaps fingers* I'm glad it flew by in a rather memorable way, nonetheless. =)) Once I was stuck in the study, and it was in those typical moments where your mind starts to drift away from the words on the paper to the more appealing thoughts hidden elsewhere. I don't know why, but I thought of angels, and wondered if they existed right here, right now. Then like this light shining over mr bean shone over my head, and the answer was clear, right before me - they did, and they surrounded me all the time. The people that are so dear to me - my family and close friends - are truly the angels He sent to me. I have so much to be thankful for. So much to be happy for, and to look forward to as my new lifestyle begins today. For once in I don't know how long I won't have to take my pencilcase out for use! Cheers.=D Saturday, November 18, 2006 @ 11:26 PM
Coming Soon: 22nd Nov If my life were a movie, it will open this coming wed. HAHAHAHAHAHA thinking about it gets my hair standing, my heart racing, my eyebrows twitching, my stomach rumbling, my ears itchy, my hair frizzy, my - You can't blame me for getting a l'ill over excited!!! =))) But first I need to remember that I still have a paper on wed. Bummer. |