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profile Walking by faith is something easy to say, but hard to do especially when things don't go as planned. But we try all the same, and I'm no exception. This blog is in some ways cathartic, in others a means for me to pen my thoughts and struggles as I walk this life and learn to trust God more with each passing day. tag archives May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 friends and credits skin by: Jane |
Sunday, November 27, 2005 @ 6:49 PM
yin and yang Two creatures are within me. Isa is the spotless creature who resembles an adorable chihuahua (is that how you spell it? No matter). It purrs in childish contentment whenever I sit at my desk and attempt to complete a brain-vibrating tutorial, or read a book, or do any kind of work which has a direct relation to being a hardworking student. The other is moley. Yes, Moley, as its name suggests, has a full body of brownish wart-looking moles. These moles grow an inch bigger everyday, but if Moley faces tough blows from its opponent, the moles will split, excreting thick, green slime which smells like the contents of an unflushed toilet bowl. Moley lets out growls of agreement when I sit at the front of the television for long hours, or procrastinate, or do things that shout: You slacking eh. It is a struggle for both Isa and Moley every single day. Each creature tries to outdo the other by influencing their owner (who is none other than myself), be it laying temptations and/or motivations through her day - the television shows, the computer, the unfinished homework, the holiday schedule, yadda yadda. Once, Isa punctured 7 of Moley's moles in exasperation (Isa had a nose mask prepared) because Moley was unleashing his less-than-favourable influence again - and his moles were getting too big, too big for Isa's own comfort. Another time, Moley excreted some of his disgusting green slime on purpose, catching Isa unprepared and knocking Isa out temporarily. I realise Moley's culpability these days. I try as far as possible to quell its influence, but occasionally Moley's taunts - Come on, it's a holiday. Chill.. - get me marching to the couch where I begin to morph into a potato. Then the guilt triggered by Isa washes over me like ice cold water and I march back to my desk reproachfully. Perhaps balance is the key. Isa, Moley, please compromise with each other because only peace brings forth happiness ya? Chill, it's a month more, you can be online longer - Wait, there's work on the table meant to be completed today. I'll poke you if you keep taunting her. *pinches nose* *grunts, but keeps silent* Off I go to my desk. Saturday, November 26, 2005 @ 2:19 PM
iryl. I'm at the student lounge pianting house banners fo orientation 06. IRYL (ignis - my house!) rocks my socks! The sudden detachment I'm facing from blogosphere is gonna be longer, considering the fact that I will be in Kunming/Dali/Lijiang after grad nite and.. my work attachment. Am no longer confident that I am able to secure a place fo the attachment, because my teachr in charge only just informed me that I'd have to go fo an interview. I don't harbour nice thoughts fo interviews. So far the interviews I've been through went, er, not as I expected. haha. Despite the council work and all, I still find time to read HP6 all over again, and do some revision. Not too bad! Back to painting! Tuesday, November 22, 2005 @ 11:15 PM
Masquerade me. The hustle and bustle that comes with an event like grad night is hediously HUGE. I am excited though. VERY! (i'm part of the organising comm for grad nite 2005 - Masquerades. we started work since March and the event's starting in 9 days. ahh!) At the end of this, I'm going to miss the countless meetings we had at the oasis. boohoo. For now, chiong!!!! Wednesday, November 16, 2005 @ 4:36 PM
edgar, i nothing am. Today is historic. It is a day worth remembering, because.. wefinallyfinallyfinishedupkinglear!!!! After gazillion hours of mass lectures, pens and highlighters and role-play, we finally reached this: The weight of this sad time we must obey, Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say. The oldest hath borne most; we that are young Shall never see so much, nor live so long. - Edgar And the play ends. I don't know what to feel. Relief? Regret? Grief? Excitment? Perhaps I should be happy, because Edgar my ou xiang has the last lines, and he is one of the few characters who actually live. You guessed it. The rest all die, as if dying is something trivial in that era. One by one they either get hanged or stabbed, or they just drop dead on the floor because their hearts 'burst smilingly'. Haha. How weird. I realised something through the course of the play. That the people around me have similar character traits to some of the characters that are in it! Say. My sister reminds me of Goneril the evil when she doesn't get enough sleep or when she hates the food she is eating. Yet she can be Cordelia-ish at times (Cordelia is like, the angel of the play). AT TIMES. Everyone of us has a bit of Lear in them, though. (did somebody tell me this before? can't remember.) In some point in our lives we go through an identity crisis, we lose our footing and make a rather major mistake - and we try to redeem ourselves, most of the time. Also, I know for a fact that I can pick up something from King Lear. That we should speak how we feel, not what we ought to say. Yes, we should, but whether we can is an entirely different story. We can try. And risk making more enemies, or better friends. For now, I'll be having some home time before the mad rush for the organisation of graduation night '05 gets heated up tomorrow. ciao! Tuesday, November 15, 2005 @ 11:25 PM
THANK YOU! to my family and my friends. You know who you are! You people make me love being 17. haha I love all of you! Sunday, November 13, 2005 @ 2:07 PM
specials. I doubt I'll have the time to touch the keyboards tomorrow, so let me just do this now. How does it feel after singing dozens of 'happy birthday to _____ ' in restaurants and in the school canteen, now that it's my turn? Slightly flattering, I suppose, and an empty realisation that I have grown yet another year older. Not that I am complaining about wrinkles or saggy skin around the eyelids, or flab around the arms. It's just a sore lament about the passing of yet another 365 days since I was at home studying for the Os. I remember the wonderful, wonderful surprise that three of my dearest friends gave me on that Sunday. Amidst the incessant stress from the upcoming exams, they bothered to come down to where I lived... to have some sort of a celebration. haha. Birthdays aren't special by themselves, if you think about it. It's just a day that you landed into this tumultous world, bloody and tearful and all. (and for me, I didn't land. I was practically plucked out into this world! - see 10 if you don't geddit) It's when the important people around you take their time to send you their best wishes that makes the day special. yea! Mum's making DBC today (digestive-biscuit-cheesecake) and I am yearning for it to enter my mouth. haha that sounded weird. tata for now! Friday, November 11, 2005 @ 11:23 PM
blissfully cheated There's a fine line between getting cheated and getting cheated blissfully. Today, I think I finally got the line clear. Thank you octomaniacs, for that cunning deception (esp. mavis goh pei jie who did it so marvellously well!) followed by the sweet surprise. As for the other deception, I shan't comment on it because, well, it's un-comment-worthy. haha. Whereever you are it is your own friends who make your own world. love y'all! Thursday, November 10, 2005 @ 4:52 PM
OP was :)! Better than I thought, in fact, because jiali was amongst the audience, and the audience were great, nodding in agreement as my group went on... and on. When everything was over with an 'Alright, we are done!', I could practically feel this physical sense of liberation. An odd emptiness, too. That there'll no longer be Mr Lum and his funny smile, asking us to hand in our 7th PI, no more TB11 gatherings in groups of five, nor house-visiting. Well. At least there's more time now. Aren't we a greedy bunch? Always trying to find more time to do things, and when you find it, you unknowingly spend it on somethings less worthy. Anyhow, have I mentioned I like the month of November? hahaha. Wednesday, November 09, 2005 @ 7:56 AM
gulp. It's.. an hour more!! *rubs hands together* I'm in the german room and all five of us are here. NJC047 OEI!!! Tuesday, November 08, 2005 @ 12:14 PM
Wowee! OP tomorrow. TOMORROW! I have never ever ever half dreaded and half anticipated something so much before. Okay, maybe the O level results. Can you imagine? Almost a year's work completed. COMPLETED! mwahaha. I'm listening to the Don and Drew show on podcast, and they are friggin' hilarious! If you haven't heard of them, they are two guys who take pride in contorting a fine song to one that sounds very, very, out of place. But interesting. Once they made one of Eminem's rap hits turn into a country-sounding song. ???? That's like turning a snake into a snake with chicken feathers. gah. NJC047 all the WAY! wowee! Friday, November 04, 2005 @ 11:31 PM
face it. Appearances can be deceiving. A hard and fast rule, a cliched line we always tell one another to console ourselves that looks do not matter, and what really does is the heart. As much as I am tempted to nod my head vehemently at that, I can't. Because I increasingly realise that it is all crap and bull when they say, ' Oh, don't worry. He's not going to look at how you look. Inside. It's inside that matters. ' Of course the inside matters. Of course, when you look at someone you don't judge first hand about his personality. Of course, when there is a wart on the left side of her cheek and there is obvious flab in her arms, you don't think that she has a problem with herself. I'm not lashing out at the hypocrites dotting every corner of society at present, because I'll be lashing out at myself and those I love. We are all hypocrites, be it small ones, medium ones or disgustingly huge ones. It's a result of modern-day thinking, that what everyone follows - conformity - is what you should follow. Say, if a bright green dress on a shop window attracts your attention. You purchase it, because you like it. Then you wear it on the street and you hear someone say, ' That dress sucks. ' Appalled, you chuck the dress into the dresser, never letting it see the light of day. Sounds familiar? Missions, visions, and ideals - they litter every aspect of our lives, but in the course of achieving, we adopt means that do not justify the gains. It's revolting, but all I can do is sit and think, nothing else. Wednesday, November 02, 2005 @ 10:41 PM
i saw mummy eating grapes. At hwa chong for a combined choir practice today, we sang this christmas carol entitled 'I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus'. And for a split second I wondered if I will ever see Mum doing that in Singapore. I guess not. What a sad city we are all living in, void of chimneys and snow! Anyhow, the practice was fabulous, (teehee) and I enjoyed myself thoroughly when we swayed and clapped but sadly, flopped a little during the performance-for-hc-to-see segment. bleah! I also realised (to my utmost horror) today that I have been consuming large quantities of fast food recently. O, the horror, the horror!! *clutches face in agony* Hahaha. I'm sounding a bit bimbotic. I shall shut up. Tuesday, November 01, 2005 @ 11:16 AM
=D xiaohui doesnt know im using HER COMP TO UPDATE HER BLOG!! HAHAHAH im at her house for a secret mission! lol... mav |