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Walking by faith is something easy to say, but hard to do especially when things don't go as planned. But we try all the same, and I'm no exception. This blog is in some ways cathartic, in others a means for me to pen my thoughts and struggles as I walk this life and learn to trust God more with each passing day.


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skin by: Jane
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 @ 10:48 PM
unsettled.. sigh.

It's confirmed. The big CHOP. Nana's leaving this friday and she's taking the 5pm flight.


So.. naturally, I don't feel happy. Like duh lah.


Sometimes I ask myself: hello?? Why are you down? There's such thing as email and phone in the world, it's not as if you won't ever have contact with nana.


I know. I DO know we can write letters and phone each other etc etc. But, it's different.


And thus I have made a pact with myself. By the age of 25 I shall earn/beg for 2 air tickets to California and make my own way there with my sis to visit nana!


Ha. Oh yes I will fufill this pact.


Okay :) I feel so much better now.


Wait. Did someone say ' common test '? Speaking of which, I think I didn't fare well. At all. GP was heart-stopping, Math was a nightmare, and Chem left me breathless. Literally, because we had to complete 20 MCQs in 30 mins.


Baaa!


Bleah.



Sunday, June 26, 2005 @ 12:28 PM
reality hurts.

You bet it does. Because from tomorrow the alarm will ring at SIX!!


Oh glorious days where I could open my eyes and the sky would be bright and sunny...


blah.



Friday, June 24, 2005 @ 10:39 PM
faraway trees

Was having one of my many 'tours' around the house (it is becoming more and more frequent nowadays. I wonder why) to rid of some restlessness in me when I sort of stumbled across a book I used to read and go ga-ga over back in primary school.


There were once three children, called Jo, Bessie, and Fanny. All their lives they had lived in a town, but now their father had a job in the country, so they were all to move as soon as ever they could.

I skimmed over the first few pages, and it all came back. I remember my kuku self back then (remember the ez link card. oh my), utterly engrossed in the Enchanted Wood and the Faraway Tree where Jo, Bessie and Fanny had their fantastic adventures - the moon-faced man, the sauce pan man, the fairies, the toffees... the list goes on.


This might sound embarassing, but sometimes I would even dream of myself entering into their world...


The same thing happened with Harry Potter and Star Wars, so.. ahem.


Oh and in case you're wondering, Enid Blyton wrote that book about the Enchanted Wood. I guess you could say I was a pretty ardent fan of his writings, because they made my imagination go wild.


Sometimes I miss those times when I would sink into a book completely, to the extent of being oblivious to everything else that was happening to me.


hmm maybe only if a cockroach ran across the floor.


Now? All I read are newspapers. Time. An occasional romance novel. Oh, and King Lear. Not that I am super ecstatic about that. *winks*


blah. Common tests are coming right up, next mon!


I have a gut feeling I won't be very happy with the results, but oh well.


*by the way, the one night holiday at orchard hotel was funnn!! :) pictures later la, now lazy to post.


off to sleep! [anticipating Harry Potter.. tralala]



Saturday, June 18, 2005 @ 8:57 AM
wuhu!

Daddy booked a night at orchard hotel for some "family bonding", that's how he put it.


Except common tests are next next week and I'm not ready to kick my shoes off and dance around orchard road.


I shall thus bring some books along.


But somehow I have a strong ominous feeling that they will be left in the bag, ignored.


BLAH. cyaaaa


*tune in 3 days later



Saturday, June 11, 2005 @ 10:51 PM
taken for granted.

See the forest, not the trees.


I'm suddenly having flashbacks of the time in CSS, while smsing rapacherians to ask them out for dinner tomorrow - it is cancelled after smsing back and forth because everyone's schedules cannot harmonise.


Not that I'm complaining, but I'm worried for the fact that we might just.. lose it. The tight bond we used to share just 6 months ago might just.. loosen. And crack.


And to think we were so high back then about 20 dec 2012.


If we can't meet up even once a month now - barely a year after we made our pact - can we even do so 7 years later?


A few hours.. too much to ask? I know there are CCAs and tests to fret over, guys to drool over, a comfy bed at home to lie on, but.. just a few hours. That's all.


It AIN'T that much!!


Sigh.


Never forget the importance of best friends. My senior once told me this, and I thought of rapache almost immediately. I remember myself nodded so earnestly, agreeing with him - do you guys share the same sentiments?


If so, then please. It.. really isn't much to ask for - a get-together.



Friday, June 10, 2005 @ 11:14 PM
angela says...

1. she is pretty.

2. she is kind.

3. she is helpful.

4. she is considerate

5. everything i've wanted for a friend.


And what's my reaction??


Click for more.


(this feels like a commercial. And the product is.. angela???!!! oh my. ohhh myyy.)



Monday, June 06, 2005 @ 11:08 PM
pissified

I think it was about 5.30pm today when I just started to tune in to the drama serial on ch8.


This warm flush came over me and I was pissed, for some whatever reason.


Snapped like an overstretched rubber band, I got pissed at my sis for blocking the teevee with her irritating butt, pissed at the show for ending so early, pissed at myself for not having enough time to complete what I set out to do -- summing it up, I was just.. pissed.


pms? ya loh I think so too.


It's now 11.20pm and I am once more, left alone in the living room typing away whilst my whole family snore under the covers.


What the heck. Sometimes having early sleeping habits can be a curse.


But on second thought, it's more of a blessing lah. One tends to forget most things when asleep, and somehow you feel.. at ease when you succumb to the sandman.

* *

Realised that tomorrow I get to spend the whole day at home! yay!


Yeah, I'm deprived of home comfort.


And.. Nana's visa interview is due in 2 weeks. According to her she can leave anytime she wants after that. Michael wants her to leave Singapore for the US two days after the interview so both of them can reconcile.


Man, he is bloody selfish.


Or... am I?


15 years with Nana and now you want me to say bye to her for good in less than a month? It's not easy.. at all.


Sigh. I have to get over this.



Saturday, June 04, 2005 @ 10:12 PM
i update okay?

ya loh! hmms I try to update at least once a week, so be patient yah?


I'm not lazy. But for blogging, there must be a right atmosphere, a right time and a right mood before I click the orangey 'publish post' link, you know? *deep breath* oh yeeess I can feel it now... bahas.


The past two days were primarily spent in CSS for the council camp organised by the council alumni. Didn't stay in school throughout the camp (went back home last night, went to CSS again this morning), so it was pretty slackish for me. And joanna goh li ping (a siao pal -- the P in rapache comes from her ping) too, because we somewhat were in the same boat, flitting in and out of camp.


The camp was good -- probably better than the past council camps I've attended. The present batch of sec2s and 3s had canoeing in Lakeside (until now I can't figure out how they did it there) and an Amazing Race around the CBD area, and a campfire, as usual. Canoeing!! I want. Amazing Race!! I also want. =/ Deprived la, me.


Anyways, I helped out during the Amazing Race! Each team had to decipher clues which will lead them to tasks once they reach each station. Was attached to the ULTIS, consisting of enthu individuals who really have the potential to be good leaders of CSS. Ran around Raffles, Shenton Way with 'em and hoho I kinda enjoyed it.


Sort of deja vu-ish feeling I got during the race; I felt as if I were in Elects Camp all over again, doing the monstrous 26km route. *shudder*


I'd be lying if I said such races didn't help to bond people together. Because obviously, they DO! When you race together, you stick together like glue, and when one lags behind, everyone lags. yeah.


And dumbo yoke chong (this old ah pek whos the camp co-ordinator) keeps pronouncing 'rapache' as 'a capella'. *huh face* It's RA-PA-CHE okay? hahaha. ;)


Yep, I had a pretty good time in CSS. I wonder if it's because I'm dying to relive those CSS moments. Maybe lah hor?


And.. I know I say this every entry, but I need to catch up on work! BLAH.


But I also need my beauty sleep. nites~