"Someone once told me that we are a generation of dreamers."

When I read it something clicked, and I'm not sure if I turned to her and said "well, we are...", but I can clearly remember my reaction within, that well, we really are.

And as fate, or Providence, or simply just God would direct it, while I was doing my usual walk from the study room to the kitchen to get some inspiration a couple of weeks later, a book laid on the dining table caught my attention when it didn't for the past couple of months. On it was the title "dreamgirls", and I remembered - it was a book I bought for my little sis on her 15th birthday. So I flipped it open, and started reading.

What followed was day after day of something I'd term maybe a dream revival in my heart. The book reminded me of the countless ambitions I had while I was younger, big and bold they were, and I had all the intention to chase them for my glory. Some seasons I longed to teach young delinquents and see their lives changed, others I wanted to walk down the fashion runway (a dream I know can only remain a dream, because I am physically limited, lol), and some days to champion a cause, perhaps fight for the rights of the poor and needy, somewhere out there... or even be a singer-composer, holding my own chill out concerts and signing autographs for crazy fans.

Then Jesus got a hold of my heart, and for a period in time my dream machine stopped churning because all I wanted to do was to know Him more. So I did all I could to achieve that... church, Bible school, cell - and life continues to be an adventure as I continue to know Him. But now, the machine is starting up again and almost everyday I'm thinking about the plans that He has for my life.

Once I had a fleeting vision of myself speaking to a group of girls, on self-esteem. Another time, I was a youth pastor, preaching on stage and leading worship. Sometimes I am clad in black and white, speaking to a panel of old but very brilliant judges and fighting for justice to be done - these dreams scare me, because as of now they remain strictly, well, dreams that are beyond my earthly ability. I'm not even sure how they are going to happen.

Even as I dream, a prompting remains, that faithfulness over the smallest things will eventually lead us to the destiny we were created to have. That remains difficult to do in a place like SMU, when the demands of our time challenges to knock commitments over, left right and centre. But every morning I wake I am aware of the privilege to live each day and try, at the very least, to gain a bit of distance between me and the dreams He has placed in my heart.

Nonetheless I doubt this space will ever become void, considering its history and the rather cathartic effect that writing has. Only that maybe my writing will become more objective, but then again doing that will put a question mark on the purpose of this blog.

Wait. What is the purpose of this? In secondary three when I started, everyone was starting one and so I went with the flow. The few years that followed I found that people actually read what I wrote, and that seemed pretty cool (think: i feel like a journalist, maybe i can be famous one day). Now the idea of posting an entry is ordinary, often a 'to-do' that never surfaces at the top of the list. Though I know that it is an avenue where the people I have somehow drifted apart from can know what's going on in my life, I much rather have a two way thing going on at a cafe or foodcourt, or something.

Then it boils down to one other purpose, which is perhaps the main reason why I insist on keeping this alive. I want to witness for Christ, through all that He has done in my life. Might pull some sensitive nerves here and there with what I write, but so long as I don't breach the Sedition Act (which I have absolutely no intention of), this space shall continue to give Him the glory, and praise, and credit... and all things good.

But while I was writing on interfaith dialogue for a research paper lately, there have been musings on my part, about religious diversity in Singapore. The absolute truth that my faith is grounded upon seems jarring in the quest for harmony in a secular world - does it? See Guat Kwee wrote this poem, as a reflection:

And if I should craft an answer to the question of maneuvering my life in a multireligious society, it would probably come in the form of loving my neighbour as myself. That puts an end to doubting.

It's week 2 into the term now. There is a kind of mantra going through my head, that I've only 2 years left of varsity life to make the best out of. So what have I done or what should I do? They always tell me that these are the best years of my life, but I have trouble trying to get what they mean exactly. My interpretation is that these are the best years of my life to do something that counts; something that makes a positive difference to someone else. After all, we are only young once! Before the responsibilities of life creep in, it's best to take advantage of some of the freedoms (from bills, plates in the sink maybe?), and just go out there and do something.

This is the point where Mum will say, "Why are you always so busy ah? You got time to pak tor like that meh?"

To which I'll almost always give a sheepish grin, and assure her that I'm still young, and there is really no hurry. For now, I'm working on having the best years of my life, because these are exciting times we're living in.